No Wonder She Said No – How to Satisfy Your Dance Partner

If you’re sitting out too many dances when you go out, you’ve probably asked yourself, “What’s going on here?” An enjoyable dance between a man and a woman is possible if you know how to satisfy your dance partner. It’s not hard when you’re aware of some of the things that can mess up a good partnership. Hopefully, you’re not committing any of these faux pas.

What will cause a lady or a man to say “No”?

It’s hard to satisfy your dance partner if there’s pain involved.

Stepping on toes

Getting her feet stepped on is one of the biggest fears a lady has when she’s dancing. Because it can easily result in stubbed toes, abrasions, and torn-up nails, stepping on toes should be avoided at all costs. For this reason, it’s important to learn the correct way to stand in relation to your partner.

You can satisfy your partner is you don't step on her and break her foot.
Let’s avoid this dance injury.

For pointers on how to take control on the dance floor, please read the Dance Safari post, “Ballroom Dancing Basics: 10 Characteristics of a Good Leader“. Also, take a few minutes to watch this performance by Antonio Banderas from the movie, “Take the Lead“. Good stuff!

It’s not only the lady who fears being stepped on. Leaders who are unable to keep their partners in a good dance position will also suffer the indignity of being trampled upon.

Overleading the lady

Overleading occurs when the man puts too much force into directing the lady. Many instructors say the leader’s job is to gently indicate the direction he wants his partner to go. Admittedly, some followers will require more energy than others. Tread lightly, because if you overlead and hurt her hand, elbow, or shoulder, you’ll understand why she said no.

Backleading the man

On the other hand, a follower’s backleading is one form of help that a leader doesn’t want or need. In fact, just like you wouldn’t want two steering wheels in your car, you can’t have two leaders on the dance floor. Ladies, remember this if you’re wondering how to satisfy your dance partner and get more dances.

The big squeeze

Holding on too tightly is another way you may be hurting your partner. It happens when you’re not supporting your own weight. This is why it’s so important to keep a good dance posture. Come to think of it, it’s always nice to have good posture.

Satisfy your dance partner by using good hygiene.

Excessive sweating

This is a problem for lots of folks. To be sure, it’s not their fault. And yet, it’s uncomfortable to dance with someone who’s wringing wet. If you know this is gonna be a problem, the solution is simple. Bring a change of clothes. It’ll be appreciated and you won’t have to go back and tell your buddy, “She said no.”

Bad breath – really?

You’re going ballroom dancing and you’ve got garlic breath? C’mon, you know better. Okay, brush your teeth, grab some mints, breath strips, gum, whatever. You’ve gotta keep that breath fresh. Just do something. If you’re not sure what’s best, ask your dance teacher. In addition to all their dance knowledge, good breath is a subject they’re experts on.

satisfy your dance partner by having fresh breath
She said no because you have bad breath.

Body odor can be offensive

Whether it’s not enough deodorant or too much cologne, strong smells have no place on the social dance floor. So, rather than drenching yourself with perfume or cologne, go change your shirt and hit the pits with some deodorant.

How to satisfy your dance partner - don't stink like Pepe Le Pew.
Although Pepe Le Pew is charming, he is too stinky to dance with.

Treat each other with respect.

Personal space

Even though you’re dancing together, personal space can be an issue. You know what I mean – inappropriate touching either by accident or not. The first time it happens, most will assume it was unintentional. If it happens again, you’ll know why she said, “No“.

Being polite goes a long way

It starts with knowing the right time and the best way to request a dance. People are wrong who say just grab someone and start dancing. Being polite means not interrupting a conversation. If you want to know how to satisfy your dance partner, be patient. Finally, when the time is right, a simple, “May I have this dance?” will be all you need. Also, ladies, keep in mind this works both ways. Although it’s perfectly acceptable for a woman to ask a man to dance, she mustn’t forget her manners.

One last thing. When the dance is over, leaders must escort the lady off the floor, thank her profusely, and kiss her hand. There will be no question that you know how to satisfy your partner.

Thank you for a delightful dance!
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  1. So good, Barbara; especially the ‘escort your partner off the floor’.
    There is nothing more chivalrous as being escorted to your seat. I swoon like a young girl when a gentleman offers me his arm in this way. Almost makes me blush!

    • Isn’t it true that one of the best things about ballroom dancing is the way it’s kind of old-fashioned? The vintage rules of behavior that are a part of ballroom etiquette are the things that make partner dancing stand out. It’ll never be out-of-style to be chivalrous. Blush on!

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