Most of us want to be happy. Although there are some people who automatically default to shitty, it’s not a good thing. When you think about it, isn’t it better to be cheerful, content, and relaxed? To be sure, I know when things aren’t going your way it’s hard to express your happiness, but you can do it if you try.

If you’re looking for happiness, you’ve got to ask yourself some questions.

My answers are included.

• What’s your definition of happy? “Happiness is the absence of anger.”
• Name 3 things that make you feel good. 1. “A sunny day.” 2. “Kisses.” 3. “Petting my dog, Roxie.”
• If you’re in a bad mood, how do you manage it? “For a bad mood, I say positive affirmations.”
• Looking back, what would you say was the happiest time of your life? “Aside from the present, I really loved my time as a professional ballroom dancer, competitor, and performer.”
• What do you look forward to? “I look forward to a lifetime of not worrying about turning that frown upside down!”
• As far as personal happiness is concerned, where do regret and gratitude fit in? “Of course, I regret mistakes and poor judgement. However, I’m grateful when I learn from my errors.”

How this post came to be.

My grandson Logan and I went shopping yesterday and, it was rough going. That’s because it didn’t turn out the way it usually does. You see, almost every shopping trip we take is delightful with Logan singing (loudly) and making friends with kids and adults alike.

Regretfully, on this most recent trip, Logan decided he wasn’t gonna stay in the shopping cart. So, we made a deal that he’d walk beside me holding on to the cart. Quickly, the distractions became too much for him and he had a lot of things to investigate.

Eventually, as you can imagine, that led to my giving him the stink eye while I asked him to behave. Soon, I was glaring at him more often and the orders got louder. As a result, we were both unhappy.

Ughh, what am I doing? I felt bad and I couldn’t shake that crappy mood. Because of this, I thought long and hard about it when I got home. That’s not going to happen again. I have a plan and it has a direct link to happiness for Logan and me. I believe it’ll help you, too.

Sounds good. What’s the plan?

Slow down.

Stop being in a hurry. Certainly, impatience is a big problem. First thing to remember is you’re not a king, queen, president, or even a celebrity. In fact, your wishes aren’t anyone’s commands. Take your time and explain your point of view. In order to have a relationship, there has to be mutual respect. Moreover, it starts with you. Please check out this Dance Safari post, “Good Relationships – Lessons Learned”.

Words matter.

Remember the old saying, “You get more flies with honey than with vinegar”? Instead of getting louder, speak more sweetly and softly. In the end, you’re more likely to get your way. Additionally, for sure, you’ll feel better.

Lose the angry face.

Letting your emotions get the best of you does you no favors. Keep in mind, I’m not only talking about with a 4-year-old. Showing a look of disgust as you speak to anyone won’t help you get what you want. As a matter of fact, it’ll have the opposite effect.

One way to regain control of your temper is to focus on your breathing. Slowly breathe in through your nose, hold it a second, then breathe out through your mouth. Also, you could recite positive affirmations or give yourself a time-out by taking a short walk. In other words, do anything that helps you change the pattern of anger and replaces it with happiness.

In the end, I took my own advice today and got a ton of kisses. Ah, pure happiness! That’s better!