Life can be wonderful. Think about the gifts we’re given: a beautiful blue sky, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore, the laughter of kids at play, a loving relationship. But, sometimes the bubble bursts and you have to deal with the awful side of life. How do you get through the hard times?
Hard Times
Some say the most stressful of hard times include having a death in the family, losing a job, or battling a serious illness. I’d have to agree. However, it may be worth your time to prepare for another nasty situation…divorce and domestic violence. Just in case.
When it comes to relationships, anything can happen. Even this:
Infidelity
Somebody cheated. Why? The simple answer is they’re not happy. To avoid divorce and domestic violence, you might want to try the suggestions from this Dance Safari post, “Spice Up Your Love Life with Ballroom Dancing“.
Assault
The discovery of cheating may lead to the relationship turning violent. The result is painful both physically and emotionally. There’s no question an Order of Protection will be granted and charges will be pressed.
Excessive Debt
Payback time. “If you press charges, before you know it I’ll run up those credit cards. You don’t know the meaning of the words ‘hard times’!“
Ugly Divorce
An ugly, bitter, revengeful divorce is not something to be taken lightly. By all means, change the locks and fortify the residence. Also, don’t forget to let the children’s teachers and school officials know that your spouse is not permitted to remove the children from school or daycare.
Child Custody Battle
Often the divorce involves one person who is trying to hurt the other. In that case, it doesn’t take much to make a call to Child Protective Services with false allegations. Yup, nothing like good, old-fashioned dirty tricks. Be prepared with notes and photographs if you’re unjustly accused of creating hard times for the children.
If there’s visitation, it will be spelled out by the judge on the Order of Protection. It’s important to know that the court must authorize any changes to the schedule.
Testifying about divorce and domestic violence at a criminal trial!
Talk about nerve-wracking!
Coping with Divorce and Domestic Violence
Getting help and support from family and friends is the number one way to make it through these hard times. Additionally, you’ve got to stay busy. For example, going to work, gardening, housework, or doing home improvements are all projects that will keep you moving.
Counseling and therapy will help get you through this crisis, as well. Equally important, make sure the kids have access to it, too.
Oh, and don’t forget to hire a really good attorney, Use this link if you can’t afford a lawyer.
The purpose of this post is not to scare you. But, bad things can happen to good people. Look for the signs, and be ready to take action when you need to. Remember, you can do hard things during hard times.
As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you.
Yes, you never know what can happen in life. People change. Sometimes challenging circumstances bring out aspects of their (your partner’s) personality you never knew were there. Issues from the past they have never dealt with (rejection, neglect, abuse and so on) can catch up with a partner, and derail them. Knowing how to face and deal with all of this is very important when life throws you a curve ball!
Thanks for your feedback. Of course, it’s true that we don’t know what happened in the past to make a person behave the way they do. But, understanding that doesn’t make it acceptable. By all means, be prepared and take care of yourself.
Barbara
No, it doesn’t make it acceptable. At the end of the day we are each responsible for our behaviour, reactions, and how we treat other people. We may be influenced by our past but we do not have to be controlled by it. Violence is never acceptable. Never.
Amen!
I’ve never been through a divorce nor have I experienced domestic violence, and for that I count myself lucky. I’ve seen statistics suggesting the lockdown has resulted in an increase in relationship breakdowns and violence, and I can only imagine how difficult such situations are to contend with. I would imagine the fear, the uncertainty, the ‘payback’ and thought of having to ever testify would all be nerve-wracking and enough to make people question whether to go ahead, but getting out of negative and potentially very dangerous and harmful situations is so important. Excellent post, Barbara, a very poignant topic to cover.
Caz xx
Thanks, Caz, for taking the time to share your observations. I hope to help people become more aware of the potential problems in abusive relationships.
Barbara