No Wonder She Said No – How to Satisfy Your Dance Partner

If you’re sitting out too many dances at a social, you’ve gotta be asking yourself, “What’s going on here?” An enjoyable dance between a man and a woman is possible if you know how to satisfy your dance partner. It’s not hard when you’re aware of some of the things that can distress a good partnership. Hopefully, you’re not committing any of these faux pas.

What will cause a lady (or a man) to say “No”?

There’s gonna be a problem if pain is involved.

Stepping on toes.

Getting her toes stepped on is one of the biggest fears a lady has when she’s dancing. Because it can easily result in stubbed toes, abrasions, and torn-up nails, toe-stepping should be avoided at all costs. For this reason, it’s important to learn the correct way to stand in relation to your partner.

You can satisfy your partner is you don't step on her and break her foot.
Let’s avoid this dance injury.

For pointers on how to take control on the dance floor, please read the Dance Safari post, “Ballroom Dancing Basics: 10 Characteristics of a Good Leader“. Also, take a few minutes to watch this performance by Antonio Banderas from the movie, “Take the Lead“. Good stuff!

It’s not only the lady who fears being stepped on. Leaders who are unable to keep their partners in a good dance position will also suffer the indignity of being trampled.

Overleading the lady.

Overleading occurs when the man puts too much force into directing the lady. Many instructors say the leader’s job is to gently indicate the direction he wants his partner to go. Admittedly, some followers will require more energy than others. Tread lightly, because if you overlead and hurt her hand, elbow, or shoulder, you’ll understand why she said “No”.

Backleading the man.

On the other hand, a follower’s backleading is one form of help that a leader doesn’t want or need. In fact, just like you wouldn’t want to have two steering wheels in your car, you can’t have two leaders on the dance floor. Remember this if you’re wondering how to satisfy your partner and get more dances.

The big squeeze.

Holding on too tightly is another way you may be hurting your partner. Nevertheless, it happens when a partner (leader or follower) is hanging on and not supporting his or her own weight. This is why it’s so important to have good dance posture. Come to think of it, it’s always nice to have good posture, isn’t it?

If you want a tip on how to satisfy your partner, here’s one – good hygiene.

Excessive sweating

This is a problem for lots of folks. To be sure, it’s not their fault. And yet, it’s uncomfortable to dance with someone who’s wringing wet. If you know this is gonna be a problem, the solution is simple. Bring a change of clothes. It’ll be appreciated and you won’t have to go back and tell your buddy, “She said no“.

Bad breath – really?

You’re going ballroom dancing and you’ve got garlic breath? C’mon, you know better. Okay, brush your teeth, grab some mints, breath strips, gum, whatever. You’ve gotta keep that breath fresh. Just do something. If you’re not sure what’s best, ask your dance teacher. In addition to all their dance knowledge, good breath is a subject they’re experts on.

she said no because you have bad breath

Body odor can be offensive.

Whether it’s not enough deodorant or too much cologne, strong smells have no place on the social dance floor. So, rather than drenching yourself with perfume or cologne, go change your shirt and hit the pits with some deodorant.

How to satisfy your dance partner - don't stink like Pepe Le Pew.
She said no! Pepe Le Pew is charming, but too stinky to dance with.

Treat each other respectfully.

Personal space.

Even though you’re dancing together, personal space can be an issue. You know what I mean – inappropriate touching either by accident or not. The first time it happens, most will assume it was unintentional. After that, don’t be surprised if, next time you ask, she says “No”.

Being polite goes a long way.

It starts with knowing the right time and the best way to request a dance. People are wrong who say just grab someone and start dancing. Being polite means not interrupting a conversation. If you want to know how to satisfy your partner, be patient. Finally, when the time is right, a simple, “May I have this dance?” will be all you need.

Ladies, keep in mind this works both ways. Although it’s perfectly acceptable for a woman to ask a man to dance, she mustn’t forget her manners.

One last thing. When the dance is over, leaders, please escort your lady off the floor, thank her profusely, and kiss her hand. There will be no question that you know how to satisfy your partner.

Thank you for a delightful dance!
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